At the end of the day, I was struggling with my motivation to do something fun. I flipped through my HGTV Magazine looking for a quick decorating solution. The hubs tried to challenge me to a game of chess. Nothing inspired me to do anything. Then I started thinking about yoga. I’ve referenced the recent time in my life where I struggled more with RA than I ever remember struggling before. Well, before that, I was quite active; yoga a few times a week, walking the dog every day, taking public transit (which does require more physically than driving everywhere), etc.
Recently, I told myself I would get back in to yoga. I even looked up the gentle class schedule at my old studio and put classes on my calendar. But I never went. Tonight though, when I could think of nothing else to do, I went to the closet, dusted off my mat and started a solo practice. I felt rusty and old. My bones were creaking and popping. I could barely get down to sit on the ground on my own. I couldn’t put too much pressure on my wrists or left shoulder, which made it near impossible to do planks or downward dogs let alone move between those poses and standing. BUT I did what I could and I actually felt good about it. After just 15 minutes of rusty practice, I felt strong, challenged (in that good way) and relaxed.
I admitted to the hubs later that I had been scared to try again for fear of failure. I know it is something many people struggle with all the time, but fear can be so paralyzing, no matter what it is that scares you. Yet once you set your mind to conquering it, the rewards are so gratifying!
I’m thinking now about how to tailor a practice to my specific needs that flows the way yoga should and maybe works in elements of physical therapy as well. More on that to come I’m sure. Tonight ended up being a lot more fun and empowering than I thought it would be.