year of fun

After finishing wrapping gifts, coordinating my schedule, planning for a meeting, researching restaurants for our first married Christmas, and cleaning the whole apartment, I needed a moment of zen. While I’ve never tried meditation before nor have I read anything about it, I decided to see if I could just do it. I set my phone timer for 10 minutes (that I figured would seem like an eternity), sat in an alert yet comfortable position and closed my eyes.

At first, my mind was all over the place, so to quiet it, I came up with my own mantra. I don’t really know where it came from, except maybe all the Christmas music I’ve been listened to. “Joy to you, Joy to me, Joy to the World.” I repeated it in my head over and over slowly until I was simply relaxed. I was aware of house sounds around me and wanted desperately to check on the timer, but I kept my eyes closed for the full 10 minutes. And now I feel quite relaxed. I’ve heard people use meditation to control arthritis pain as well. I may have to try it again/longer. And maybe read about some methods or mantras. Or just stick with Joy.

I was looking back over past posts and it has been awhile since I have needed to say more than a sentence or two about my arthritis. It is true that I have been feeling good, been active and had a much more positive attitude over the last month or so. Yet when I woke up today, I found I was still feeling ill and, on top of that, totally exhausted and achy in my joints. Getting out of bed and showering brought back the all-too-familiar time when I could barely do those two things on my own. I became distraught, totally worried that catching this cold and being practically immobile yesterday had sent me in to a downward spiral with my RA from which I may take months to recover (like last time). I was conflicted over whether to continue to rest-what my body seemed to be telling me to do-or to force myself to go to work and be active-what my mind said I ought to do if I didn’t want to end up back in “the bad place.”

After several moments of paralyzing panic and indecision, I called the hubs who calmed me and, though he was worried about back-sliding as well, encouraged me to rest up another day but try to do some things around the house if I could. Ever wise, he reminded me what the year of fun is all about saying I should really DO something today. Cuddling cannot count twice.

So, in the midst of tissues and medicine bottles, I made potpourri from the garlands that my mother-in-law made for our wedding reception. They have been hanging in my kitchen since July waiting for this project. I’ve never made potpourri before and I read several websites on the topic, however most of them conflict on the exact process. Some say buy a fixative to infuse the smell of the essential oil in to the mixture. Others maintain that you should use a natural ingredient like orris root as a fixative. Within this, more contradictory information. You must use chopped orris root, not powder. No, powder is ok, just not too much. After reading all this, I kind of just did my own thing:

1 tbs orris root power
add 4 drops essential oil (mine is eucalyptus)
let sit for 4-6 hours in a closed container
add dried flowers and shake

I think I used too much orris root powder and too much essential oil for the amount of the flowers that also fit in to my container. The powder looks messy, so I think I would go for whole chunks of orris root next time and definitely less oil. The smell is pretty intense. I plan on giving them a few days to settle down to see if I actually want to give them to anyone or open them in my own house. But, regardless of how they turn out, I’m happy that I did get up and do this project. It brightened my spirits and took my mind off of the potential problems illness and resting could cause. When I feel good, I feel great, but when I’m sick, I tend to fall apart, so having a project that took some time was helpful. That and the America’s Next Top Model All Starts Marathon on the Style Network.