Category Archives: Adoption Fun

Adoption Update

I have been trying to write an adoption update post for weeks! For some reason, I keep holding off. I write a bunch of stuff, only to delete it later. It’s not that it is anything bad, just that it is emotional and I’m not yet sure what is the right level of open for this blog.

Danny and I have always felt very open to (and passionate about) adopting a child. In the adoption process, we have prepared for and learned about being open to the birth family of that child. We have opened up every facet of our lives to examination, from finances to communication style to health history to familial relationships and more. We talk about it openly with family and friends. Yet, when I sit down to write, the words somehow don’t do it justice; the love we have to give, the lives we have to share and the fierce hope with which we wait. And while I may be willing to blog about a lot of personal things, nothing compares to the kind of openness one experiences with adoption–(and we are not even to the big, emotional part yet). Not just to the baby you have been dreaming of but also to his or her birth mother and father and whole extended family. Regardless of whether the adoption is open or not, regardless of whether those people ever see or speak to the child again, we, as adoptive parents, carry them with us for our child. And in turn, in a feeble and unworthy gesture, we open ourselves up to inspection. How many people can a heart hold? Actually, a lot.

I know, I know. That is not much of an update. That is me coming to terms with how raw my emotions are about how open and vulnerable Danny and I make ourselves by putting our profile out there. And it is finally out there! On this blog. On The Cradle’s website. And in print form and Nook form at The Cradle. We are officially a “Waiting Family.”

This means that if an expectant mother comes to The Cradle seeking to make an adoption plan that she may find out about us in a few ways. 1. She could see us on the website. 2. She could read about us on the Nook. 3. A Cradle counselor could recommend us to her if we fit her criteria and she, ours. If she wants to learn more about us, she will request to view our full profile, which is the printed book we’ve created over the last few months. It is longer than anything you could see online and it contains more detail about our lives, our family, friends, reasons for adopting and parenting. When someone requests our long profile, we will receive a Request for Profile, an RFP. The RFP will provide Danny and I will some details about the expectant mother and, hopefully also, father. Information like health history, prenatal care, race, age, and thoughts/notes from the expectant parent counselor about her/their interest in making an adoption plan. We then approve or deny the RFP. If we approve, the expectant parent takes our profile home along with 4-5 others. She then chooses one couple/person out of those 5-6 to meet. Then, the expectant mother (and potentially also father) and her counselor sits down with us and our counselor in, what I can only imagine is, the most awkward meeting ever.

The other way this could happen is that someone who is considering adoption finds our profile online (like through this blog or on The Cradle’s website) before contacting an agency to make an adoption plan. That is why if you share this post on Facebook, link to our adoption page on Year of Fun, or like The Cradle on Facebook, you help spread the word. You never know what friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend may find herself making this difficult decision.

Danny and I both appreciate all of the support and love from our families and friends that came with this announcement months ago and the announcement in April that we are finally LIVE. I promise to keep you all updated on the progress of the adoption. For now, we wait.

Year of Fun is Back!

Hi Hi Hi! It has been a looooong 6 months since the Year of Fun ended on September 24, 2013. I think I needed that time to recover. Seriously. It was such an undertaking, but now Year of Fun is back complete with a necessary makeover! Check her out.

People kept asking me if Year of Fun would continue beyond the original year. My answer was always “Yes.” I was just never sure what that looked like. Finally, I figured it out. It’s a–and I’m not sure how I feel about this term–“lifestyle blog.” Really, that just means I’m going to keep blogging about FUN and how it fits into my life. That will most likely take the shape of new home ownership, adoption, stuff I like, travel and staying active with RA. Over these long winter months, I’ve been working a TON. The hubs and I bought a house! Future location here: Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetAnd our home study was officially approved! We’ve been spending as much time as possible with this little lady:photo-3

And these young men:

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And, of course, I’ve been plotting this return to the interwebs. As always, let me know if you have any fun things you think I should try. Otherwise, I’ll hope you’ll come back for more in the coming days/weeks (not day. There will not be posts every day).

Year of Fun is on Facebook and Instagram (@sarahmslight) You can even check out our online adoption profile on the header at the top of this page.

Day 362: Adoption 101

Today the hubs and I spent the majority of the day (8:30am-4:30pm) in a class called Adoption 101, the first in a series of classes we are required to take in order to become adoptive parents. It was a fun yet emotionally draining day full of lectures, videos, guest speakers and group exercises. The first thing we did (after we got to see the nursery–currently home to seven babies whose fate has yet to be determined) was an exercise that made the adoption journey much more real.

The front half of the room was asked to find an item on their person (or in their purse) that was of great value to them and hold it in their hand. Most people took off their wedding rings, some people pulled out their phones and others had random objects like glasses or pictures from their wallets. The woman leading the class came around the room with a basket and we had to place our valued items–the hubs and I both chose our rings–in the basket. She then took the basket to the back half of the room and told them to pick out something they wanted. The front of the room was not to look behind them to see what happened to their items. Needless to say, this cause quite a bit of anxiety in the front half of the room.

When asked how they felt about the items, the back half of the room said things like, “It’s beautiful but I’m not sure what to do with it.” and “It isn’t mine.” The front of the room said, “I want my item back.” When asked how I felt about the woman admiring my engagement ring, I said, “Well she seems really nice and I trust her to hold it, but I want it back.”

This experience was meant to simulate the adoption experience. She seems really nice. I trust her to hold it. But I want it back. My words about my ring. Scary when thinking that could apply to a child. However if it were better for my ring to be with that woman. If I couldn’t provide for my ring but the other woman could. If it just wasn’t the right time for me to have a ring. If I could still have a relationship with the ring. It just might be the best thing.

Adoption is the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate act of love. A woman who chooses to place her child for adoption chooses with a heavy and anxious heart but one full of love for her child. And it becomes the responsibility of the adoptive parents to ensure the child understands this–just one of the take aways from the class.

The rest of the day was really informative–especially the conversation we had with an adoptive family and the birth mother of one of their daughters. They have a great relationship and it was just the perfect image of open adoption at its best. The class left me hopeful for the future and ready to continue moving forward with creating our family through adoption.

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